Sunday, September 21, 2008
i have finally implemented my diary thingy... yes! good work to me... but still... i duno... when i feel like crying or need comfort who can i turn to? it's just so hard to find someone who totally understands wad u r gg thru..
just now i rammed into a lorry... not very serious... i tink the lorry dun even know... but my car the bonnet infront thr scratched and cracked la... im so gonna b dead later... when dad knows of it... im so dead... i really wish he would just beat me to death later... seriously... im feeling quite terrible now... all of a suidden... suddenly i rmb tt mei was with me in the car just now... if i die nvm... my sis! how can i endanger her?! im such an idiiot... just now up till like awhile ago i guess i was still quite oblivious... like still in shocked state... haven study anything since ytd yet... at all! exams is on tue and wed... im so dead. when im most afraid n in need of help, nobody was thr to help me... and now when i finally got over the shock and beginning to feel something, nobody's here to help me also... hais... guess i will just have to rely on myself again... sometimes i seriously just want to be like mei like tt... she can just play the heck care and den faster find someone to help her settle it card but why i just can't?! i really duno la... give up hope.
just hope tt dad kills me later... seriously... thr's absolutely nothing to look fwd to at all anyways... exams... not looking fwd to it at all! work... ew! other things gg on in my life, not so much also... just mayb i will miss my friends and family... but nvm... i hope tt for all the not evil things tt i do, god at least let me go to heaven? haas... duno la... give up. shall start studying at 7pm...
damn sian... only started studying at 8pm and now im still in chpt 2 lecture notes? hais... so unproductive... e only thing i seriously wanna do is to slp!
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